'tis better to give...

My kids have always struggled with the giving part of Christmas.

 

The getting part they TOTALLY appreciate. I mean... there are no better receivers than my kids. They are superior at getting crap, being excited about said crap and then throwing that same crap to the side while getting new crap.

 

They are spoiled on Christmas.

 Between my guilt-ridden purchases that add to the "Christmas eats other holidays" theory (thank-you, Jon Stewart) and the fact that they are 3 of 3 grandchildren on my husband's side, it is just freaking ridiculous. Every year, I tell myself I'm going to be strong and every year, I'm just not. Call me whatever name you want... I love giving my kids presents. I love the excitement of Christmas morning and Santa and piling up meaningless crap just to see their faces light up.

 

 It is what it is.

 My husband has learned to deal with it.

I love him for that.

 

We do try to teach the lesson of giving, too, but usually it's a forced giving and ends in tears and  tantrums and gripping some beloved item to their chest of which I rip out of their hands. I then lecture them and tell them what ungrateful turds they're being and send them to their rooms.

 

it's not so great here... ya know, with the whole 'tis better to give than receive' theory.

 

So, imagine my surprise, when my Aj brought down a zip-lock bag full of monies and shoved them in his backpack.

 

Me, imagining the drug-dealing that was already occurring at the tender age of 8, asked, suspiciously and with a nervous laugh what all the cash was for.

 

"it's for school."

 

"so... what - EXACTLY - for school."

 

"you know, the coin drive. to help other families who might be having a hard time this Christmas. This is all my coins in my piggy bank."

 

While I picked up my jaw off the floor, my other two children, not to be undone, hurriedly began emptying their piggy banks as well.

 

Gavin came down with about 60 bucks. he was ready to put it all in.

 

Sydney - my worst "giving" offender, generously offered up all her pennies. Believe me when I say, I was floored. i kind of expected her to only give, like 10. maybe.

 

I like to believe that somehow, in the midst of my really bad parenting, that i teach them something once in a while. like, that they should be grateful that they have it SO good. and once in a while, they really surprise me. they make me believe that i am cut out for this job... you know, the whole, motherhood is endless, relentless and often goes unrewarded job.

 

once in great while, there are moments that i do get to see some fruits of my labors. and it's just enough to keep me going.

they didn't give much - maybe $3 each. but it's enough.

 

really, it's more than i've ever asked of them.

 

but it's enough.