Hummmm....

At the beginning of January, there was a 5th grade geography bee. They first have their class competition to see who is lucky enough to move on to the NEXT LEVEL - school, District, STATE!! Oh the excitement is too much.

Gavin came home the day of is class geography bee and I asked him how he did. We were going to study over Christmas Break but I was too busy being lazy and pretending we would never have school, homework or any responsibilities again. so, we didn't.

Anyway, I was super curious how he did and he said he got third. well, actually, he got second, since the other two girls tied. Third. Not too bad, considering he didn't study. I puffed my chest out a little.

His weekly progress report came home. I noticed that under "extra credit - geography bee" there was ZERO points. I asked Gavin why and he said he didn't know. I figured it was an oversight and surely it would be fixed.

The next week, his progress report showed the same thing. I asked him again, 'what's up with your teacher not giving you points? did only the winner get extra credit?'

This time, he did that shifty eye thing along with a slight shoe shuffle... My slightly puffed chest deflated.

                          "Well, i probably didn't get extra credit because I got disqualified... in the 1st round."

"I thought you got Third."

                           "I did."

So, now i'm totally confused.
"You can't get third AND get disqualified."

                           "By MY calculations, I got third. If I HADN'T gotten disqualified, I would've gotten third."

"By your calculations?"

                           "Yeah. I knew all the answers until top 3 and then I got out. So, I got third place."

"No. you got disqualified."

                           "Right. right. I did. In the first round. But i WOULD have gotten THIRD."

"Why, exactly, did you get disqualified?"

(I at this point am thinking up a lecture on cheating, whispering to other people at inappropriate times, etc.)

                           "Humming."

"Humming? you were humming during the geography bee?"

                           "Yes. I was humming and my teacher said it was distracting so I got disqualified. That's probably why I didn't get any extra credit. But that's dumb because I really got third... by my calculations. So, i should get that extra credit, too."

I'm trying to wrap my brain around this logic and work my mouth to stop smiling and come up with some wise advice and turn this alternate universe I'm living into a rational, nurturing, good-parenting moment but i really just wanted to laugh and respond with some really snarky comment. But that's not good parenting so I just snapped my mouth shut and rejected every thought that was coming to my head.

All of sudden, a little minnie-mouse voice squeaks in the background -

"your humming IS pretty annoying, Gavin. But I think it's dumb you got disqualified for that and I bet you would've won the WHOLE thing. Next time, just don't hum, okay?"

i'm going to leave the mothering to my six-year-old. She's better at it than me.

I think I'll just sit here and hum.