Sydney's sick. Just that cold/flu virus that is going around and everyone's got it. Poor thing - she fell asleep on her bed at 6:30 last night. I walked in to check on her and Aj - they were building lego houses for their pet rocks - and she was out cold. He was still building her house. He looked up at me and said,
"I already finished mine. She started to do hers but she got really tired so I told her I'd do it for her. I've just got a couple more pieces. I'm being her big brother tonight."
'Cause that's the kind of relationship they have. Sometimes, they fight and hate each other. But, I swear, when it counts, they will (quietly) lay down in front of a moving bus for each other.
i melted. "I'm being her big brother tonight." He knew she needed his protective - big-brotherness... not his equal-rights-i'll-bash-your-face-in-ness.
I hate it when my kiddos are sickly. But, secretly, I love it, too. 'Cause last night, i was giving Syd a breathing treatment and she fell asleep in my arms when she was done. Her hair was so silky against my cheek and i tried to remember the last time I got to feel her even-breathing and sweet quiet that comes with a sleeping baby. She's not a baby anymore but even when she was, she liked to sleep alone. I may or may not have shed a few tears... getting to have her in my arms like that again. These moments get few and farther between as my kids get older.
But then, she coughed and wheezed again, and i felt sad. That makes me less of a horrible person for liking it when my kids get a cold, right?
And UNLIKE my boys, she's the best little patient, too. She has been home for 24 hours straight and I have gotten a ton of work done, chores done, read a book, done puzzles and snuggled. We've talked and i think i may miss her when she's at school tomorrow. Of course, my jobs will probably be grateful she's back in school so I can get back at it tomorrow.
Yeah. I said, JOBS. 'Cause I've got 2 now. I'm working a whole 25-30 hours /week. I got hired to manage the swim team. Love. it's been a little nuts getting everything in the working order I want but it's satisfying being able to help get this team where it *can* be.
I feel fortunate everyday that my kids don't ever really know I'm working. I mean, they DO, but they don't. I tell them funny stories so they know I work out of my home everyday, BUT, i teach preschool when they are at school. I work at the pool or do stuff from home when they are at practice or school. Sometimes they complain when I pass up opportunites to go on field trips or if I can't volunteer in their classrooms but I am still at their school plenty, helping where I can. But, I'm home when they're home - to make a snack, to help with homework and projects, to go to their games and practices, make dinner and do all the SAHM stuff. I just hired a cleaning lady to help me keep the house in the state I like it in. Bless her. It makes me so happy when it's her day to come. It's a huge weight off my shoulders to know my baseboards and blinds are getting cleaned without me doing it.
Things are always changing and faster than i can keep up with. But it's okay, I think. It keeps life interesting. I just sometimes need to stop, take a breath and enjoy what I've got.
Life's good.
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