Joy in the Journey: reflections on 2012 and moving forward

2012 was tough. I made a lot of personal changes in my life. My family went through a LOT of yucky stuff. My marriage was pushed to the limits and I felt it groan and creak under the strain.

I'm glad it's all over.

But I'm glad (for the most part) we made the choices we made. There is nothing easy about change. But, usually, they force us to look inside, evaluate, reflect, struggle and come out stronger on the other side. And that's what happened. By and large, I'm stronger. My marriage is stronger. My family is stronger.

And even when it felt like life had stopped - it really didn't. No matter how slowly it seemed to go, it still moved on. It marched forward and it took me with it - even when I didn't want to go.

But I'm okay. I made it. It's been a long year but we did it. And I learned some valuable lessons along the way. Mostly I learned to trust myself. To trust love. To trust goodness. To trust what makes my heart sing. And to embrace those truths. To enjoy, to laugh, to hug, to dance, to think, to learn and to look to God, first.

So, I've dubbed 2013 "the year without fear". It's my new mantra. And when things get scary, I'm going to take a deep breath and remember that life will go on and it will all be okay. I'll be okay. And sometimes, those things we're most afraid of are the things we need the most.

And I'm also recommitting myself to the gym.

And I'm going to start cooking again. I'm tired of sandwiches and eating out. Besides making me feel like garbage, it's expensive.

I'm looking forward to this year. I'm looking forward to enjoying this year and moving WITH life... instead of resisting it.